Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Psalm 139: PART TWO

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

I remember being a little more than freaked out when I'd hear teachers going on and on about how God can see me all the time. He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake. He knows if I've been bad or goo... wait, that's Santa.  

Anyhow, the concept of God's omnipresence is mostly abstract and a good bit invasive and feels almost stalker like when your concept of God is very incomplete. Going through a stage thinking that people are looking over my shoulder to criticize and catch me messing up, it was easy to project that on God. He is, after all, perfect.  Going through a stage of awkward self-loathing, it was easy to assume God's disappointment, if not repulsion, at what he sees.  Feeling unworthy and incapable, God's constant presence can be more of a reminder of what I lack rather than any sort of an encouragement.

As I grow in my understanding of God -- who he is and what he has done, what he says and how he works -- my response to his everywhere-ness has grown as well.

I love that when I'm on the top of the world and everything is working according to plan, God is in the midst of that. 

I love that when I'm sinking down into uncertain places either outwardly or inwardly, God is there. Billy Crockett has a song -- blues style -- that reminds me that when I find myself down in the mire and muck at the very bottom of life, Jesus is deeper still. 

I love that no matter how far ahead of myself or the day I try to get -- no matter if I rise with the sun or circle the globe in either direction -- no matter how far my influence stretches or how deep my impact digs, God is there. Further. Before. Wider and deeper. Always. 

I love that God not only meets me in the darkest places, he brings light to me there and shines that light until I can see it. Until I can see him. And, seeing him, I begin to understand that I am fully known by him. Amazing, that seeing me in his light -- fully exposed -- he does not turn away. He does not abandon me. 

God's promises to us (recorded in his Word) have great value. One of the ones that I love most is his promise to be with us -- always and forever. 

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for thinking outloud for me too, Ruth.